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The bombshell indictment accusing New Jersey Sen. Bob Menendez of pocketing hundreds of thousands of dollars in bribes portrays the veteran Democrat as a a bumbling quasi-spy for the Egyptian government – who didn’t try too hard to cover his tracks.

The stunning court papers, unsealed in Manhattan federal court Friday, state that Menendez – who’s accused of trading political favors to help three New Jersey businessmen and the country of Egypt – even stuffed stacks of alleged ill-gotten cash in the pockets of official government jackets emblazoned with his name.

Menendez, who has represented the Garden State in Congress since 2006 and heads the powerful Senate Foreign Relations Committee, denied the allegations in a lengthy statement, claiming he was the victim of “an active smear campaign.”

Here are just a handful of the bizarre and alarming acts that Menendez, 69, and his wife, Nadine, 56, are accused of, according to the indictment:

One day in April 2019, Menendez’ wife Nadine left him a voicemail that she was going to meet a former insurance agent from Union City, NJ., named Jose Uribe “for five minutes.”

Nadine ducked into the parking lot of a restaurant where Uribe, 56, handed her $15,000 in cash, court papers allege.

She then used the cash to make a down payment on a Mercedes-Benz C-class convertible – while Uribe asked the senator to tamper with the state attorney general’s prosecution of one of his colleagues for insurance fraud, according to the court docs.

After the purchase of the luxury vehicle was finalized, Nadine messaged her husband, “Congratulations mon amour de la vie, we are the proud owners of a 2019 Mercedes,” and texted the senator a picture of the luxury car, along with a heart emoji, the indictment states.

Among the more shocking details in the indictment is that Menendez allegedly updated unnamed Egyptian officials in real-time about US military aid to the country – while a middleman, Edgewater, NJ., businessman Wael Hana, promised to give the senator’s wife a no-show job at his halal food processing firm.

Days after Hana, 40, took Menendez out to dinner at a high-end restaurant in 2018, the senator texted his wife Nadine that he was about to “sign off” on the foreign military sale to Egypt of tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition for firearms and tanks – valued at $99 million, court papers say.

The senator instructed his wife to forward the text to Hana, who in turn forwarded it to an Egyptian official, who, apparently satisfied with the arrangement, replied with a “thumbs up” emoji, court papers state.

Days after Hana, 40, took Menendez out to dinner at a high-end restaurant in 2018, the senator texted his wife Nadine that he was about to “sign off” on the foreign military sale to Egypt of tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition for firearms and tanks – valued at $99 million, court papers say.

Federal agents who raided the Menendez couple’s New Jersey home in June 2022 recovered more than $480,000 in cash – including tens of thousands of dollars stuffed into envelopes in the pockets of the senator’s official government jackets bearing his name and hanging in his closet.

Authorities also recovered three kilos of gold – worth $150,000 – from the home, as well as $70,000 in cash stored separately in Nadine’s safe deposit box, the feds said.

Menendez and his wife also allegedly had a longstanding relationship with New Jersey real estate developer Fred Daibes, who court papers say bribed the couple with gold bars and cash for a series of favors, including the senator’s help disrupting a federal prosecution into Daibes.

In late January 2022, Nadine texted Daibes to thank him for the payments – while Daibes’ driver’s fingerprints were later discovered on an envelope containing thousands of dollars in cash and recovered from the couple’s home, according to the indictment.

One week after his wife had thanked Daibes – ostensibly for the bribes, according to the feds – Menendez Googled “kilo of gold price,” court papers state.

The most bizarre form of bribe that the couple allegedly received came in early 2021, when Hana allegedly used funds from his halal business to send two exercise machines and an air purifier, among other items, to the Menendez home.

In exchange for these gifts and other alleged bribes, Menendez improperly pressured a US Department of Agriculture official to protect Hana’s “exclusive monopoly”, granted in 2019, on signing off on US food exported to Egypt as compliant with halal standards, federal prosecutors allege.